Life as we know it

So I have figured out a way to keep starving and get my mother off my back at the same time!! I've invited my mother over to my place for a home cooked roast dinner, so I will starve to that point, today is Monday and whilst I'm still using the glorious ABC Diet as a guide* ok let me explain, I use the abc diet as a guide of how many calories I can have if and when I feel like a binge and I just Starve the rest of the time, I live when I look up at my calendar and I crave a binge but see that this is a fast day no cheating for me!! So in that case I smoke some weed with my bf and when I can't stand the hunger I go out the back do jumping jacks then grab my bf and go to gym or the running track a house away from where I live. So I think I have it all figured out huh?? Wrong! It's my birthday in less then a month I should be thinner, better, perfect but I'm not! I wanted to be half this size by now!! Ok this calls for drastic measures..... I'm going to tweak the ABC Diet a little and cut the calorie intake by half. This ought to please Ana, I hope this shows the results I've been looking for, starting today Monday 27th feb, I'll be kicking off a 3 day liquid fast, I would love to throw juice in the coffee and coke zero mix but I can't fucking find 100% juice! I'm not wasting time on anything else, I don't need the added sugar! But fuck why is this so hard? I feel guilty drinking anything else. Soon ladies I will be posting pictures of my in home thinspiration one of the perks of living in your own home is you can put anything on your walls as thinspiration but I am yet to embrace all perks as I am in a share house and can not put thinspirational pictures and quotes on the cupboard everyone uses! I can not write "don't eat that you fat pig"! But these perks are yet to come for now though I can put anything in my walls as much needed thinspiration so I do, it took a while for my bf to adjust, but there here to stay. I don't have scales AND IT'S KILLING ME! I hate not knowing what weight I am! I measure myself daily but it's not enough! I wear a rubber band around my wrist so when I feel like eating I pull that! It's a red rubber band too :D *sighs* when will I be thin enough to be happy? I suppose that's what all Anas out there are asking, I only feel right when I'm torturing myself for this to happen I know when I'll be thin enough, when I look like my thinspiration yes that's when I'll stop.....