A little look into the life of me,

I first developed bulimia after me and my friend were raped by these guys we knew, I always knew she was bulimic as at school her weight was dropping and fast, after the rape we were inseparable I stayed at her place for weeks on end until 1 day I said I want to be bulimic too, what do I do? At the time I didn't blame her for teaching me the ropes, I loved it I still don't blame her nor will I ever, but I came tI realize this was a coping mechanism for her and I wanted that too! We were both 14 when we were raped, I only remember him raping me 7 time thru the course of the weekend we were there, we were drugged and kept in a house for 3 days until I eventually said take me and my friend to the station now or I call the cops! He took us then hit on my girlfriend call me a slut then left. After that I was put in foster care, where I begun cutting myself but by 15 this was not enough! I went to councelling but as soon as I got there ( a month after the rape ) tge appointment lasted 5 minutes, she was rude and couldn't care about my problems so I cut the appointment short and left..... I never went back. I feel now that I need to deal with the issues I have and need to feel control the guy that raped me took my control he took my nievity he took my innocence I'm now 23 and still need my cOntrol back, I'm starving for perfection, I'm starving for control I'm starving for bones Ana,..... I'm starving for you!