What have I done Ana??

Where did I go wrong? I saw bones, I saw happiness, then home with the bf I binge!! I hate myself, I'm weak I'm useless I hate the full feeling sitting in my tummy! I hate it, it's not worth the binge I hope I can remember this next time I want to binge, I never normally even feel the need I may nibble on some foods but never binge! I woke up to my stomach killing me! I was in so much pain still am! That's it this calls for a 3 day fast, then on the forth day I'll eat an apple or some celery then fast again the next two days! I have to last, I feel like cutting again just out of guilt! I want to cut the fat off my body and then feel under neith feel the bones. I hate that I failed all u beauties I am truly sorry but this was a wake up call, the pain of eating was to great I need this all to stop