3 days since shoot,

Ok guys I'm sorry I haven't written since the shoot, I have just super binged after, well ok this is the damage from just before, the shoot & just after;

Saturday; mum, when are you coming over for lunch? We can watch a movie, (what she's meaning but not saying is when are you going to eat in front of me so I can see your eating!!)
Mianax; Muma, I'll come over on Monday, for lunch, you can make your ginger slice!!, you know I'm dying to try it!! (what I'm meaning but not saying is when I don't have a shoot that is going to show my HIDEOUS FAT body then I can stuff my face! And make the FUCKEN ginger slice I'll choke it down tell you it's amazing then fight back tears with every bite!!!)
So the shoot,
Agent; hold this muffin just in front of your mouth and pose!
Mianax; (this is disgusting!)
After leaving the shoot the bf took me to maccas then explained that now there's no shoot to fast for please eat!
I couldn't bare to hurt him further, so I ate, :'(
Monday; mums house, what do you Want for lunch?? As soon as I walk in the door, so I say you decide, we ate lunch then I choked down her ginger slice, it was good my mum Is a awsome cook!, then Tuesday, no excuses, I just ate! Today I told the boy I'll eat as I'm starting my fast again tomorrow for the whole 28 days, it was so easy at like the 10th day and the 12th I honestly wasn't craving food anymore, I loved it! It was so natural, even eating now it weird, I find myself talking and not realizing I've actually just said what I thought I just said, it's so weird, like when me and the bf were talking about my fasting I told him that it's a life long struggle, the hurt in his eyes was heart braking! Then I sort of just joked it off and changed the subject, well I'm signing off babes, let you know we go tomorrow, xx

Starve on beauties,