22.03.2012, oh how so much can change in a day!!

Well at the start of the day, I was fine, cooked a BBQ at work for the whole company, (granted there are 13 people at my work) but resisted temptation instead of eating I gave my plate of food to a colleague that is used to my "crazy dieting" went to my car and had a smoke or 3 a Pepsi max and called my bf, but it all came crashing down when I got to my mums!! As soon as I get there she is cooking dinner, pizza for my brother who lives there and fish for her, and chips, she asked me if I wanted anything, ofcourse I said no, I was full from the BBQ, ;) but she insisted, with "I've got the tartar sauce you like!then I came to the realization she knows all my tricks, I was living with her when I was diagnosed! There really was no getting out of it, atleast when I lived there I used to say, "thanks mum dinner smells great! I'm starving!!, I'll eat in my room," always having back up plastic bags under the bin bag in my bin, I would empty my plate in to a plastic bag, hide that under the bin bag and wait 15 minutes smear a little sauce and crumbs on the side of my mouth, put a singlet on under my clothes (to add a little extra bulk from bloating after eating ;)). But I no longer live there, this was not an option for me! There was really no way out, I crumble about to cry look away and say ok mum I'll have a fish, :'( I knew if I didn't eat we would argue she would make sure everytime I went to her house I would leave after eating dinner, desert, take food home for work the next day!! Then I called my bf told him to come to my mums and pick up a shopping list and get some things for me, (coffee!!) when he gets back to my mums after dropping me off not even 20 minutes ago I tell him mum made me eat! He says it's ok, I say I feel like crap!!


Let me back track Inge way to my Mums, (he dropped me off and decided to see his family) I was reading him the fasting info I posted here and I said "I want to start a 28day fast!" he said my most fearful words! "let's make a deal?!" I said ok, what?? He starts telling me about how he misses when we used to go to hungry jacks, and If I eat hungry jacks with him he'll help me do my fast! All 28 days!!.

So I figure do I take this bullet now so for a month my bf will help me think of other things other then food??
HELL YEAH I'LL TAKE THIS BULLET!! But this is not a complete failure story in the way of the food! We usually get a double whopper, onion rings, chips and he gets that plus nuggets, so we order go home, chop a massive mix then start eating, just as I start wanting to shot myself, I say "the foods cold!, my burger is cold I don't want it, the chips and onion rings are gold!, I barely got through half the chips and half the burger didn't touch more then 3 onion rings! It was great I made tge bf happy and didn't put on half as much as I could've!! And I will have my bf on my side! I told him I want to get to 55kgs, but he will never think I get to 55! I'll always say 2 more, 1 more kg then I'm 55, let's just see how light I can get before he really notices!? I hope I last longer then a week! My longest was 10 days starving, I want to triple that! Fingers crossed I can stay strong and starve on!

All the luck in the world for you lovely ladies!, stay strong! Starve on! And remember I'm only a message away if you need motivation!!