Evil plans come to light!....

Well here is another hormone fueled post; hahaha, I've decided to stir the pot here at work, one of the girls I work with is very temperamental with me at times, of course she is bigger then me, she never sees me eat (well before the cravings kicked in) and when she feels like being healthy she will talk to me, but all that is ok, but you see she is 30, been with her husband all up like 10 years..... See where I'm going with this?? No? You will, she doesn't have kids yet and I've just told her I'm pregnant I could see the hurt in her eyes, she wants to have a kid but doesn't want to give up booze, well I'm hoping that after hearing I'm pregnant she'll decide to get pregnant and LEAVE!! Hahaha that's the goal to get her to go on maternity leave as I know she won't come back!! Hahahaha see ya! I don't like her, she is nasty and her assistant is a dumb FUK! That I also can't stand getting the first one gone will be the hardest shes been here forever but I said hey on Tuesday let's get boost, for me it'll be to celebrate fasting and starving again! I already have my beautiful bf who is standing by to help with my fast, I can tell he'll be happy the late night cravings will no longer be an issue,
I'll keep u updated on the bitch at work getting the sack!
Starve on my beauties and let me know how you'r all going and I will ask you all to starve in my honor as I can not do it at the moment! Don't let me down girls! Love ya!!

Well I'm still pregas!! And can not wait for Monday!! Being it on! I want to starve again with out throwing up stomachs acid all day! I hate it but my pro ana girls get me thru! Gotta love yous!!!

Well I'm pregnant! And could not want this any less then I do! No wonder I couldn't fast for longer then a day! I hate this im constantly hungry and keep throwing up I feel so gross and I'm do tired all the time! Everything is shit and I keep crying I hate my life! I don't want to put on more weight but I can't help but eat I feel like Passing out if I haven't eaten in like 3 hours max, so I'm living on dry biscuits and juice let's hope this sick feeling goes away! And I am angry all the time! I hate this do much!

Keep staying strong my lovelys after next Monday I'll be back to starving for perfection!

Just another day in paradise

Ok so on the fast doing well, but this time is harder then usual? I woke up this morning had a Smoke, then ran for the toilet, threw up, since then I've been really spaced out, I have also been uncontrollably hungry! FUK I hope I'm not pregnant! That would explain why this fast is particularly hard, why I've been a total bitch, and why I can not get food outta my head, why? Why when things are going good does life have to throw a curve ball! As a striving ana we already live in our own private hell! Why lump on more shit for me to deal with! I can't take it! I don't wanna be here anymore I hate that things can suddenly change from one minute being great to suddenly turn to shit! FUK it I don't want to play anymore

Going strong!

Hey lovely ladies! And gents, ;) ok so today is going great! Oh and for thoughs who don't know yet, I'm starting my 28 day fast today, with the request to my bf that he gets me some good speed, or coke whatever he can get his hands on, I just want something there for when I feel like caving! Just a little snort to get the cravings away! Well I'm confident I won't cave tonight, I'll hit up the abswing and burn off the juice I'm living on!!

Oh and I also bought a corset! I'm wearing it today! It's that tight I can hardly breath but that's the point I can't Just sit here and be ok with all the crap I've eaten lately! I need to punish the food out of me! By this time next month I will have fasted 28 days and I will be atleast 55kgs! I'm going to aim low, I have been doing really badly lately, I think maybe because I'm thinking about councelling.....
But I need to go not because I want to but because legally I have to, I've been putting it off as I can not find anyone that does late night appointments!! Like anywhere! I want to get help for what happened when I was younger but I don't want to see a councellor because I'm scared they'll know, they'll find out about Ana! They can never know we're getting back together! They'll separate us, end what we have, I can't have that! No that won't do! I've just convinced my bf to let me starve for 28 magical days! After the 28 days tge body will eat itself so that's time to stop, I want to be a living Ana not a dead corps, I will be a living ana, I asked my bf for some chocolate (just to see if he would give me some or if he really was helping me fast) he went to give it to me then stopped and said you don't want it! Oh I couldn't be happier, his helping me! His helping me and ana reunite! I love it, I'm laying in bed with my bf in my corset and trackies, (nice look ;)) and with ana and my bf on my side, I can't lose! I won't lose! I'm choosing thin and I'll make sure thin chooses me!

Starve on beautiful ladies, together we will be thin!

22.03.2012, oh how so much can change in a day!!

Well at the start of the day, I was fine, cooked a BBQ at work for the whole company, (granted there are 13 people at my work) but resisted temptation instead of eating I gave my plate of food to a colleague that is used to my "crazy dieting" went to my car and had a smoke or 3 a Pepsi max and called my bf, but it all came crashing down when I got to my mums!! As soon as I get there she is cooking dinner, pizza for my brother who lives there and fish for her, and chips, she asked me if I wanted anything, ofcourse I said no, I was full from the BBQ, ;) but she insisted, with "I've got the tartar sauce you like!then I came to the realization she knows all my tricks, I was living with her when I was diagnosed! There really was no getting out of it, atleast when I lived there I used to say, "thanks mum dinner smells great! I'm starving!!, I'll eat in my room," always having back up plastic bags under the bin bag in my bin, I would empty my plate in to a plastic bag, hide that under the bin bag and wait 15 minutes smear a little sauce and crumbs on the side of my mouth, put a singlet on under my clothes (to add a little extra bulk from bloating after eating ;)). But I no longer live there, this was not an option for me! There was really no way out, I crumble about to cry look away and say ok mum I'll have a fish, :'( I knew if I didn't eat we would argue she would make sure everytime I went to her house I would leave after eating dinner, desert, take food home for work the next day!! Then I called my bf told him to come to my mums and pick up a shopping list and get some things for me, (coffee!!) when he gets back to my mums after dropping me off not even 20 minutes ago I tell him mum made me eat! He says it's ok, I say I feel like crap!!


Let me back track Inge way to my Mums, (he dropped me off and decided to see his family) I was reading him the fasting info I posted here and I said "I want to start a 28day fast!" he said my most fearful words! "let's make a deal?!" I said ok, what?? He starts telling me about how he misses when we used to go to hungry jacks, and If I eat hungry jacks with him he'll help me do my fast! All 28 days!!.

So I figure do I take this bullet now so for a month my bf will help me think of other things other then food??
HELL YEAH I'LL TAKE THIS BULLET!! But this is not a complete failure story in the way of the food! We usually get a double whopper, onion rings, chips and he gets that plus nuggets, so we order go home, chop a massive mix then start eating, just as I start wanting to shot myself, I say "the foods cold!, my burger is cold I don't want it, the chips and onion rings are gold!, I barely got through half the chips and half the burger didn't touch more then 3 onion rings! It was great I made tge bf happy and didn't put on half as much as I could've!! And I will have my bf on my side! I told him I want to get to 55kgs, but he will never think I get to 55! I'll always say 2 more, 1 more kg then I'm 55, let's just see how light I can get before he really notices!? I hope I last longer then a week! My longest was 10 days starving, I want to triple that! Fingers crossed I can stay strong and starve on!

All the luck in the world for you lovely ladies!, stay strong! Starve on! And remember I'm only a message away if you need motivation!!

March 22, 2012, 6:45am

Well last night was a complete failure! I don't know what happened? I was so upset all I wanted to do was cry! So stupid me I replaced my tears with food and I am living proof cals can not make you happy now today I want to cry.
My work have a barbq planned today I'm praying I can keep my hands off it! I do have tricks up my sleeve, such as;

I'll cook the barbq and when they ask, why I'm not eating with them, I'll say I ate when I was cooking,
Another good one is, I'll get the food and say I'm going to eat it in my car so I can have a smoke after.

Fuck yeah ana I'm back!! I just got a sudden rush talking about all the ways I can avoid food and avoid eating it!
Oh and thanks to R for giving me advise the first thing on my shopping list is Baking soda!!

I need to redeem myself! And bad! No more caving I hate myself for caving like a weak person, I have to redeem myself in the eyes of ana!

Wish me luck and ladies im so sorry for letting you all down! Forgive me please! And please do what I can't and
Stay Strong, Starve on!

Day 2

Well day 2 going strong, didn't drink as much juice as I would've liked! Had alot of coffee, no water again another thing I wish I had more of! But I can't drink alot of water, honestly that is the worst part about starving, is drinking water, but I atleast water down all my juice, and only 100% juice! I think I'll get a juicer or a food processor, and juice my own fruits then I know there all juice NO ADDED SUGAR!!

Just to change the subject and mix it up a little:
My life is in fucking shambles! Here it is!
My house mates are making my fucking life miserable!
My work has gotten to the point I'm bored all day long! I'm not challenged mentally anymore!
My family is only half speaking to me ( by that I mean only half the family is talking to me, the other half has just given up!)
I am tempted by food and HATE MY SELF FOR IT!
I can not get down to my GW or even my UGW! That seems so far away!

FUK it y can't anything ever work out? Honestly why? Do I have such bad fucking karma that it's all ment to fall to shit!
Fuck I wish I had all the answers I feel like I do to help others but when it comes to me I have nothing, no solution, no justifications, no hints or tricks, no tips and no answers!

I want to give up, I want to keep fighting, I want to succeed, I want to be happy, I want the tears to stop coming for no reason, I want to be strong, I want to be normal, I want I want I want but I can't have.
But why? Why can't I? Why can't I do this right?

Juice fast to redeem myself!

Well I spent all weekend stuffing my fat fucking face! So I am starting my juice fast today, no exceptions no excuses! So here is my menu for today!

1 coffee (skinny milk,)
1 sugar free red bull
100% juice (watered down)

That's it! I will not eat I will make thin my lifestyle! I'm over being this weight and after the massive fight I had with my perfect bf I've decided he can't love me if I'm fat! I will make sure he loves me! I will not give in to temptation!

Fasting info!

Day 1 to 3 of the fast will be the hardest, but the pain will be caused more by gastric irritation and not true hunger. After day 3 of fasting, hunger is reduced or disappears all together. The earliest benefit of a fast occurs on days 3-5. Days 7-14 will be healing, days 14-21 will be like a euphoric dream and days 21-28 will be nothing short than a complete regeneration of the body.

Without food, the body will use an alternative energy source such as glycogen or stored fat. Once the glucose is reduced in the body the bodies metabolism changes and starts producing ketone bodies. Once a person eats even a single crumb, the bodies metabolism immediately converts back to how it was before and the hunger levels will rise. After the glucose and the stored fat is used up, usually occurring after 28 days, the body will start burning vital tissue or starving. Note that once starvation begins the fast must end.

Water fasting mainly benefits people with a A slow metabolism. Some people can't maintain a healthy weight for their bodygrows out of control like a cancer and fasting can help because the body will gather more energy to burn more fat. Fasting is also great for people who hate or can't exercise. In fact, one can think of fasting as being like exercise because likeexercise it will take a degree of self sacrifice.
If a fast is performed 1 to 3 times annually for 14-28 days, the body will reach a state of health no amount ofexercise could ever accomplish. A fast will be a long detoxification that demands mental preparation to carryout, especially if one is going to do a water fast. A juice fast is not as hard as a water fast but the benefits of a water fast is is well worth the pain.
Fasting Notes:
- After day 5 the desire for food will dramatically drop
- After day 10 hunger levels for the most part will be non-existing and energy levels will rise
- Expect to lose at least a pound a day
- Drink 5-10 glasses of water a day
- Stay clear of exercise
- Get rid of headaches by drinking peppermint tea or by taking a potassium supplement.



Found on  another Pro ana site thought this knowlegde would benifit alot of us out there,
let me know what you think,

until next time, Starve on

Updated THINSPIRATION ladies, enjoy :D X

hey ladies,

I added a few more pics, hope you like them,

Signed R..... a must read!

Sometimes it gets tough, this I know,
but cave in, my dear, and it will show.
A few things to remember as we get slender:
Keep your lips pressed tighter, for one pound lighter.
We'll do this together, get light as a feather.
Because in the end, my skinny friend,
we are obsessed, our nerves are stressed,
our bones will show that we are blessed,
that smile will glow when we get dressed,
laugh inside as they digest,
you already know what I just confessed.
TRUTH! Ana knows best <3

Signed 'R'

This was also posted as a comment to Thinspiration, but i absolutely love it and i know all Anas will,

hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

(Btw, its signed R as i dont publish names on this site, for privacy reasons.... :D)

Starve on my beauties xXXxX

Miana Ex, I hate you!

Well it's the bday dinner tomoz and im a fat fucking cow!! I want to call the whole fucking thing off! I fuking hate that I can't even starve myself properly! what the FUK is wrong with me? I obviously want to stay this fucking disgusting forever! No matter what I do I can not fucking lose all the weight!Fuck it I wish I could just go to a empty place, sit in a empty spot and cry about my empty heart!I know I want thin as my lifestyle! But I keep caving! I caved on Wednesday!, and last night!! Well I went to my mums for dinner no getting Out of eating there! But jumped on the scales and now I'm 61 fukn kilos!! How tge FUK have I gained 1 kg?? FUK it! I hate this!!I could cry at the fact that I hate my life! I hate that I cave! My bf is trying to be as supportive as he can but this is alot for him to take in! I told him I want to be so skinny I fall thru the cracks in the floor,! He laughed he didn't realize how serious I was being but that's cool I know I will get there! Tonight (as I've had only 4 hours fuking sleep!) I'll be going straight home to exercise, and update all thinspiration! So sorry beautiful Ana's that I have not done this yet, no time last night! But tonight I'll need all the thinspiration I can get!! I have all new pics a d I'll add in new tips and tricks so stay tuned ladies, and please DON'T BE AS WEAK AS ME!Stay strong starve on!! XxxXx

Day 4, back in business

Well yesterday was going great until I get home and then I started eating, ok this is the damage! I can of low cal ministrone soup,(not eating the pasta and potato) 1 cup lettuce with 99% fat free tuna, All up that's 100 cals! I jumped on the abswing, but scales still say the same!! I hope this food kicked my metabolisum into overdrive so I can start losing again! But after I ate I wanted to cry! My bf asked my why I was in a bad mood and I told him its because I ate and he couldn't believe I was this unhappy after eating such low cal foods but I am getting a gift from him tonight, so I will fill you in on what this could be??, I'm so sorry I didn't last the 3 days please let me know how the fast is going for you all, today is Thursday and I have the birthday dinner on Saturday so I will be fasting from now until then! If your joining in let me know, so I can message you if I want to cave!! Today's menu: 1 coke zero(0 cals) 1 skinnie Minnie melon boost juice (I love ordering this!!) (178cals) Water!! If headaches start to come I'll throw in a coffee, But no food will touch these lips! If you haven't read the letter from ana on my blog READ IT! It's under absolutly warms the heart, love reading this! Check it out, if you feel like binging this will make sure you put down the fork!!! I better go, I'm getting more thinspiration for you as we speak!! Take care and STAY STRONG, STARVE ON!

Day 3 of the fast,! Will I last??

Hey sexy Ana's how are we today? Well it's day 3 of the fast, who has lasted?? I have but only just hahaha I'm contemplating eating tonight but am also thinking I may not, I could just drink a fat blaster shake followed by a hour on the abswing! Today I have also had a boost juice along with a fat blaster drink I think I might skip the meals and have liquids again, I've already had too much cals just in liquids, yep so skip dinner end up thinner!! I say I just want this to be done but I like starving, restricting and exercising (even though I have so little motivation) I love it I love getting on the scales and seeing I've last weight! (even if it is half a kg at a time!!!!!) that is the absolute worst part of losing weight is it takes ages to go but a second to put on!! FUK it, FUK dinner that's for the weak I will fast tonight!! Oh and a special thanks to the Ana that stopped me from binging! Thank you, you are what pro ana buddies should be made of!! You know who you are!! Ok so ana plan for tonight, drink a green tea, (flush out the smoothie and FB Shake) Then water then my fat fucking ass on the abswing til I can't ab swing no more!! I'll die to be thin! I'll do what ever it takes!

Day 2: FUCK YEAH!

Day 2 of my fast, I'm feeling fucking great!! I jumped in the scales, I liked what I saw I've lost all the binge that I couldn't get rid of from Sunday and nOw I'm more ready then ever to fast, after feeling my hiP bones and collar bones I know this is all worth it! Im having trouble sleeping, (weed isn't actually helping) and stomach keeps applauding me for lasting this long, I'm not sure when I will eat shain, I'll be forced to eat in Saturday (let's hope this will be a one meal night, then on Sunday my actual birthday mum wants to have dinner at her Place, I knew I couldn't get out of this one do I said "Muma, let's do lunch instead, some nice salads, fish and tuna can't go wrong" I think this is agreed on! Oh and am I ever so proud of my bf, at my mums last night, she says, Lara you'r losing weight! Have some dinner with us, before I could even come out with a excuse to get out of it, my bf says to my mum, oh we've both eaten but thank you Lara made pies at home, I was speechless, I said why did you say that and he said,coz I know your fasting and want to lose weight! Oh gosh gotta love when your bf helps you cover up your ED, sorry ladies but I think I've struck gold!! Hahahah, ok about to get my boost juice soon then later after work I'll get my fat ass on the abswing for an hour to work off the boost, I hope everyone is fasting and lasting, let me know how your all going!! Xxx Stay strong and starve on!!

Thispirtation for my beautiful Ana's XxX Love Ya Xx

your wish "Anonymas" is my command, enjoy all the new Thinspiration, i hope you like it and i hpe it keeps all you ladies thinspired in this time of FAST!!

Letter from me

Day one of the beautiful fast, I'm feeling good, I haven't caved, haven't been tempted either not since I jumped on the FUKEN SCALES THAT HATE ME! That I have not lost a single kg! FUK FUK FUK it! I better get on the scales and they'd better look different or I'll FUKEN crack it! I need to drop a size atleast by my bday (which is technically Sunday but I am going out for dinner on the Saturday so I'm fasting for the Saturday) so I have written a letter to myself after tge thinspiration I got from aimee* Dear self, Please don't binge and distroy all your hard work, Please don't let your beautiful Ana's down, Please don't let your body control your mind, Please don't let hunger get in the way of your goals, Please don't crave for food, it let food pass your lips, Please don't listen to the people who tell you to eat! (they want to make you fat) Please don't let the stomach pains get in the way of what's truly important, Please don't get lazy and skip a work out, Please don't let food tempt me!, Please just get thin enough to be perfect! Sincerely Lara

New Page - MORE THINSPIRATION!!!! :D

Hey Ladies,

i figure we need to get ready for this fast so i have added a new page to help get you all THINSPIRED!!

we have roughly 8 hours to g before we kick this off and i am so excited!!! so i hope everyone remembers the restrictions for this, if not let me know, glad to answer any questions, good luck ladies and talk soon,

Love Ya XxX oh and Starve on!!

Scales! Oh why?

Well this morning I jumped on the scales and haven't lost a single kg! But haven't gained any either, Can not wait for the liquid fast tomorrow! Bring it on! Just what I need to really get ready for my birthday next weekend, but I know there is a surprise in place and I am also aware it has something to do with a menu, all to take place on Saturday night, do we know what this means! Monday - Wednesday: FAST (liquids only, fruit smoothies also allowed but this must be flooded with a work out!) Thursday: eat light meals! (tuna 98% fat free, with lettuce no dressing) possible a ministrone soup) Friday - Saturday (up in til dinner) FAST!! Soon I will be making pro ana red beaded bracelets, so anyone keen to receive one, post comment! Well I'm off to garden for the day Catch you soon ladies, and remember..... Starve on!

Perfect

Ok so last night was the dreaded PARMA NIGHT my bf started with his uncle! I feel like a big fat gross pig but atleast I can kick start my metonolisum into working over drive then do my 3 day liquid fast next week! I'm excited to start this fast I have atleast 5 kgs to loose in a week! The roughly estimates to be 11 or so pounds! But I atleast need to shift that by birthday next week! So today I will have coke zero for breakfast boost for lunch then gym for dinner! Burn off the boost atleast! Wish me luck as I strive for a perfect me!

Fuck you fake pro-ana buddy

I could not be sadder then I am right now!! I have been online looking for a Ana buddy and thought I found one!! Or rather one found me, but after talking to her telling yet another person a part of my life! She starts with "why would you want this?" "if you actually have the illness you wouldn't want this" well to that I say FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FOR PRETENDING TO BE A PRO-ANA BUDDY! and FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK YOU COULD ACTUALLY OFFER A LIKE MINDED PERSON SUPPORT RATHER THAN JUDGEMENTG! I hope you feel good about yourself I hope for you, this takes you to recovery but I have no other option then Ana, she gets me! She loves me, she gives me what I need, do to the FAKE pro-Ana buddy that had me going I say good luck and get help you want it, I don't! I DON'T NEED IT! Thin is my lifestyle!

Thinner

Ok so yesterday I did well lunch was 3 biscuits (70 cals) and a slice of whole meal bread for dinner (70 cals) So yeah not to bad but not too good either, I've noticed I'm way more tired then usual I know that's coz of lack of nutrition but I'm thinking about quitting my job and take Ana up full time that means there is nothing stopping me from exercising every day all day but I need to be busy all the time on the go! Like when I used to deal some illegal stuff constantly thin constantly energetic never eating I loved it but do u think I could get anything good like that anymore? No way never but maybe that's for the best, I'm weighing myself with clothes on this morning I weighed myself with my shoes on! I feel fat worthless I look at all the people I pass on my way to work how happy they must be coz their thin beautiful I feel so fat I'm discussing I hate looking at myself in the mirror! This would all be easier with someone to tell me not to give up that I'm hideous! I need to be thinner by next weekend as that is my birthday and we are all going out so I need to look my best come on Ana don't fail me now!

Am I too old

I feel like I'm to old to be Ana, I look for others that are like me but all I find are 15 year old girls starving for perfection but no one my age. Please in no way take offence my young Ana's you are all fantastic but I would like to know someone my age going thru this, I'm 23 in a matter of weeks but am yet to get thinspiration from someone, I feel like I'm flying blind. I know what I used to do to be Ana but now it's so hard I know it's worth the hard times do I'm sticking it out I know when I'm thin everything will be perfect, I made cupcakes for colleagues at work and I will gladly sit here and watch every single person give in to temptation but I will not, I will not let a single crum touch these lips, I had the urge to purge lately but I have fought it I really don't like to purge anymore but that was how I became Ana in the first place, should I go back to what I know? Or should I be punishing myself for not being thinner by now? Oh I wish I knew another Ana out there that could tell me which way to go, tell me I'm lazy when I don't jog, tell me I'm fat when I cave and eat, tell me I'm discussing when she learns my weight, oh how I wish I guess this is the hardest part of starving for perfection doing it alone.

FUCK

Fuck it's pizza day at work.... How the fuck can I get out of eating this?? I've already eaten? I feel sick? I'm not hungry, FUCK