Fuck!

So things have been at a all time FUCKED!! My bf and I are slowly falling apart and I hate it, I'm trying to stop the destruction that i can see is ending us but nothing I'm doing is working!
We now live with 2 alcoholics and my bfs uncle, who is trying to make us stay at this hell hole as he loves my bf! But fuck that!! I can not deal anymore!, it's way to hard! I don't know how much more fight I have left inside me, I told my bf that I'd always fight for him but I don't think I have the energy anymore. I know if you let you'r loved ones go and if they come back it's meant to be but I'm so scared to let him go incase he doesn't come back, I have no idea what to do about my life Fucking itself, how much is one person meant to handle!
I am now ranging at 60kgs! Still a fat fuck!!! I hate myself!

Been a while

So my last blog didn't publish as I wrote half then had to do other stuff, so sorry but the thoughts of mianax are back!, so I have been not doing the best but instead of remaining at 63 as my weight I now am 60 and keeping the 3 off so that's great but I have my next shoot on the 26th of this month, then I will be put thru for other jobs, I am nervous as hell I will look like fat heffa!! But we shall see I have tried to fast but in the last few days I have been a failure!! A big fat fricken failure!! But tomorrow is another day!!, wish me luck I will be fasting til the 26th, today being the 7th,

Starve on beauties!