going to lose the job I love so much!,
I have had a horrible amount of time off I wouldn't blame work for giving me the boot.
I'm not allowed To continue modeling as the bf doesn't want others to see me so another guy has made me give up the same dream.....
I have begged com service to let me do a more relaxed service and now they have I haven't gone, I'm most likely going to breach it do there for back to court.....
The person I didn't get along with the most is about to move home so including the men that live there now there will be 6 of us adults living in a small 2 bedroom and a study house (I say that coz the house is so tiny its not big enough to be called a 3 bedroom) the one guy I have the most problem with that is the most loud, disgusting, disrespectful, pathetic excuse for a man was supposed to apologies to me for calling me the things he did in the fight we had (we as in the house full of his mates he constantly invites over, my partner and the normal household)
He still hasn't and then has the nerve to say hello to me today like nothing happened! I can see him staying long term.....
Me and my partner are applying for places but as we both work full time, he finishes hours later then I do, not only can we barely make open inspections but for the ones we can apply for, we are getting rejected for.....
I'm not fasting much, I'm not losing less than that, my weight is ranging between 59 & 60kgs. A pro-ana friend that also answered one of my replies on yahoo for a pro-ana buddy graciously let me know that she has reached her second GW! When asked how? Her reply; nooo idea.. Come on sister, I don't hear from you for ages then I hear you'r at your second GW and you have no hints, tips or tricks??, hun it's girls like you that can thinspire us with a simple tip unknown to us, it's girls like you that can guide, teach and be taught by like minded and non judgmental peers, it's girls like you who make us realize there could be hope for us after all, you could give girls the reassurance that if this is what they want to do, need to do, crave to do then it can be done and you and your stats are the beautiful proof, but since last transmission (of; nooo idea) we have not had contact.....
When I was dealing with 'trauma' I had the habit of wrecking my life coz (so I am told) I feel I dont deserve a good life, I feel this and see this happening and I feel powerless to stop it, my bf is stressing me as he has been buying me gifts in replace of showing me love and affection and attention!, I hate it!!, it's scary that I could feel this way being with him but here we are, I think that is why I haven't logged on for ages as if I said it out loud or put it on paper it becomes real, and yep it's real.....
I'm writing all this like all these points are leading to a beautiful, easy stress free conclusion but not this time, the guru with more questions than answers has nothing, I am a innocent bystander watching my life morphed into car form head straight for a wall and it's happening in slow motion but it's just too far to run and prevent the collision but close enough to see the details of the drivers face as she sees a wall ahead of her but is powerless to stop the inevitable
Stay strong!
I hope I come back with better news for the life that is MianaX
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Hey guys would love to hear from you! If you have any tips, tricks or anything you want to get off your chest let me know!!
All haters comments will be deleted and not read, we don't come into your house and judge you for stuffing you'r face full of food do we?? No so if your not pro ana go eat a cake!! Hahahaha lets starve for a thinner us!
Starve on beauties!! Xxxxx love ya